The Game

Hi, out there to all football fans, housewives and unborn childrens . We gathered in this beautiful sunday here on Caraman's Arena in Faurei for the playoff in the 4th division of Romanian Football Championship .
G- I'm Gheorghe Daniel your usual host and along with today special guest: no other then Baneeeeel Nicoolitaaa the only but the biggest football player that Faurei's football school for young and junior players ever made .
G-Hi, Banica , may I call you Banica? We all want to thank you for accepting our invitation since we know how overloded your schedule is.
B-Salut Faurei, salut Gheorghe, mama , Stelica -vin dupa meci acasa- bineneles Gheorghe imi poti spune cum vrei doar mi-ai dat sa copii atatia ani la franceza ...ha ha ha...
G-But Chioru' or Penau ? You remember how we called you in school, after your seven dogs that all had the same name Penau? In the same fucking time.
B-Ha ha ha ... ce vremuri ... insa diferenta intre Penau si Banel este de cateva milioane asa ca prefer sa ramanem la Banel.
G-Ooo.. memories ... but we let our selfs carry back and the game had started.
-Let's make a brief inroduction of the two opposing teams ufc ciresu is playing in the usual outfit with orange t-shirt and blue pants ,only Viorel Lipa the vet from Ivan's team is wearing a orange t-shirt with the inscription PNL-PD most probable he came to the arena straight from work. No worry, for shure Viorel already sent somebody home to bring his t-shirt and boots because he is wearing a pair of flip-flops.
G-What do you think about Viorel ? If i'm not rong you two played togheder for a while.
B-Asa este Gheorghe am jucat impreuna la Poli Faurei eu aveam pe atunci 11 ani si el 40 mi-a fost ca un tata, el ma introdus in colectiv . Fiind cel mai mic jucator de la echiapa de seniori Nea Vio imi lua mereu apararea cand ceilalti colegi faceau shto de mine . Imi amintesc ca eram foarte rusinos si dupa antrenament asteptam sa faca toti ceilalti dus si abia atunci mergeam si eu insa cand ajungeam nu mai era apa calda .Am racit de cateva ori si mama nu a mai vrut sa ma lase la antrenamente insa eu fugeam cand nu era atenta direct la stadion si nu ma opream pana acolo.
Apoi a venit Nea Vio intr o zi dupa antenament in cabina in timp ce eu asteptam ca ceilalti sa termine si si-a lasat pantalonii in vine . M-am speriat nitel pentru ca nu stiam ce o sa se intample . Nea Vio ma luat de o aripa si ma tras spre el mi-a dat jos tricoul si pantalonii . Nu aveam chiloti pentru ca am avut mult par de mic si ma opaream daca alergam cu chiloti. El a zambit si impreuna in curu' gol am mers la dus. De atunci nu mi-a mai fost rusine sa fac dus cu ceilalti baieti. Cand stau si ma gandesc imi este dor sa mai fac dus cu Nea Vio si baietii , la Steaua avem dusuri separate si nu poti sa faci glume cum faceam aici .Acum sa zic pe sleau aici gresesc Nea Gigi si Profesoru' pentru ca la dus se creeaza legaturile intre jucatori ,parerea mea.
G-What a story , what a story , so a message and in the same time a advise from Banel and I to all the football teams : if you want that your team to be a compact group , if you want that the connections betwen your players to be at another level you want unity so is simple make common showers for your team .
G-Back to our game on the other side we have Inter Dedulesti in blue and white outfit . This is not only the playoff is also the local derby . The rivality betwen this two teams is well known even if they share the same stadium and the villages are separeted only by a fence.
G-So here we are in the first half of the game and the score is 0-0 . Until now we have't seen any important action. Maybe now Gabi from Galati has the ball he is a tehnical player good chance for Ciresu ,Gabi, Gabi is approaching the goal ..nice dribbling, he had loose two opponents , he has just the keeper to beat and ..... good save by the keeper, good reflex .This is the same keeper that two weeks ago was accused of non-combat in front of Progresu' Insuratei.It seems that he took 2 mil and 5 liters of wine per goal . Insuratei win that game with 11-2.
G-Banel what do you think, can Ciresu win with this kind of actions?
B-Ii cunosc stilul de joc al lui Nea Ivan el ma antrenat la Faurei insa nu are cu cine , la unu sare si altu pleaca Gabi de la Galati nu reuseste sa le ia fata aparatorilor fiind si o diferenta destul de mare de statura si in plus am observat ca baietii nu inteleg ce vrea Nea Ivan cand le spune sa o faca mica . Fa-o mica nu inseamna sa dai tare in ea pana se face mica si nu o mai vezi ci sa o dai scurt la un-doi. Stiu ca si noi am avut la inceput probleme la schema asta .
G-Maybe after the break we gonna see more action because the first half is almost ended . The coaches need to make some changes, somebody have to do something otherwise this game is gonna be a disaster.
G-Don't go anywhere cuse we'll come back with Banel Nicolita after some fucking advertising.
G-Hi, we are back i'm Gheorghe Daniel and my special guest Baneeeeell Nicoooliitaaaa.
G-So Banel I've heard that you gonna play in a movie. It's that true?
B-Yes is true , adica da este adevarat am inceput filmarile de 2 saptamani si de aceea programul meu este foarte incarcat.
G-Tell me more about the film, what is about , who is directing it , are you playing alone, do you have nude scene?
B-Nu va pot spune prea multe pentru ca am semnat un contract de confidentialitate insa ce va pot spune este ca filmul se va numi Terente si crucea de piatra voi juca alaturi de dna Draga Olteanu Matei care joaca rolul unei tinere curtezane , Florin Piersic care va fi fiul meu , Nea Gigi apare si el ca trimisul lui Dumnezeu si baietii de la steaua vor fi haiducii cu care eu voi ataca oameni nevinovati . Filmul este regizat de Mihai Constantiniu si da va contine si scene cu mine si baietii in pu.. biiiipp goala cand ne scaldam impreuna si cateva scene de dragoste la celebrul salon de masaj a lu' nea Titel de pe Calarasi .
G-So if you want to see Banel how you never seen him befor , he is on the big screens starting from the second week of march . Big movie, big actors, a lot of money , you'll not regret sex, crime, God's right hand on earth and more. And now let's get back to football the second half started for 17 min now , no changes in Ciresu's team it seems that Ivan Ionel is counting on the same card ,long balls for Gabi from Galati, to bad he has no balls to fight for them.
G-On the other side Dedulesti is waiting for a mistake , no changes also in Dedulesti team . The nr5 fom Dedulesti lose the ball Tanase in the center but the speed is not his .... he could not be in advantage over someone even if the other player had been shot 3 times in the chest. But what surprise Tanase is still on the ball and is passing to who? to who? yap again to Gabi, nice stop from Gabi and shot .... again the keeper is at the post and send the ball in corner. It seems that Gabi loose a boot at that kick and now he will need to serch it because is his only pair.He wants to come back in one boot but Ivan is making signs ,he want that Gabi goes and serch for that boot . It seems that the boots are from the club this is what Ivan is screaming :"those are not your mother boots go and find it you .... ". It seems that Gabi does not hear what Ivan is saying and now the referee has heard the coach and... he is stoping the game and is confronting with the linesman if they should or should not call Gabi's mom . Even if I fell bad for that pour boy the referee has the regulation on his side. END OF PART ONE
TO BE CONTINUED